Making assumptions without knowledge

I would love for everyone to read this. I grow tired of hearing the judgment about lack of self control, lack of willpower or lack of self respect. Seriously, shut the fuck up about other people’s size & shape until you’ve walked in their shoes or know their story. And then shut up again and be compassionate and kind and offer to help because you know more than they do and can guide them.

People do not choose to be fat. They may choose the bad habits that lead to obesity- but I assure you we all have plenty of nasty habits that are MUCH WORSE (haughtiness, arrogance, deceitfulness, hatefulness, short tempered, mean, spiteful, unforgiving…to name a few) BUT THEY AREN’T AS PHYSICALLY OBVIOUS. Lucky you and me, we can “hide” our shortcomings. Fat people can’t. And they are reminded at every turn.

After years of working with all types of women (and some men) I can tell you that the common thread in most disordered eating and ED’s – whether obese or chronically underfed/anorexic/bulimic- is a childhood/young adult trauma of some sort. Generally speaking, most appear to be self medicating with food or lack of in order to secure some kind of comfort and/or control.

I happened upon this Ace Test in another group. I think it is an invaluable tool for many- even those of us in the “normal” weight range. It is eye opening at the very least – even if you score “0.” You may or may not have experienced trauma and you may or may not have better resilience than others. And what/where you came from can sure as shit predict where you’ll go. This is mind blowing stuff. You could have just as easily been born to a different family. So stop judging.

Stop pretending you know why people are Fat – James Fell

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